Saturday, October 29, 2011

I stood out in the snow and cried

It's snowing here in the northeast.  Who's been dreaming of a white Halloween?  Which one of you was it?  Well, it's come true.

Pumpkin seeds roasting on an open fire...

Doesn't have quite the same ring to it, eh?

The snow will probably all be gone by tomorrow, but it is beautiful to look at.  I love the snow.  I love watching it fall.  It is very soothing.  Like watching fish swim, or horses graze out in the fields, or sun shining on your face.  Yes, watching snow fall makes me smile, just as much as that first sun-shiny day after a bitter cold winter.  Is it because I am a gemini?  I like winter and summer.  Fall and spring.  Snow and sunshine.

Today was a grey, miserable day.  It rained all day long.  We spent our day running errands and dodging raindrops and loafing on the sofa watching TV.  Maybe it wasn't so grey and miserable.  But, in terms of weather, it was grey and miserable.  And then, just a few minutes ago I looked out and saw snow.  Actual snow flakes falling from the sky.  It was magical.  I ran outside and looked up.  It was beautiful.  And, then I looked over at Hoss' tree.  Yes, he has a tree.  Or, had...  He passed away a few weeks ago.  I miss him every day.  I look at Hoss' tree and it makes me smile and cry at the same time.  I guess that is the definition of bittersweet.  Whenever Hoss was out back and wanted to relax he could always be found lounging under his tree.  I think he liked the shade of it on a warmer day and the soft buzzing of bees gathering pollen was probably soothing to him.

As I looked up in the sky and watched the snow flakes come down and felt the coldness of them melt on my face and land on my hair... in that moment I knew Hoss was in heaven.  Who else would be sending me down gorgeous snow flakes this early in the season?  Hoss was hanging out with St. Francis and was thinking of us.  He wanted to let us know that that he was thinking of us.  I felt him all around me.

Snow was Hoss' absolute favorite.  Just as much as he liked to lounge outside under his tree on a sunny day he loved to lie outside in a blizzard and chill.  Hoss was the king of chillaxing.

We could all learn a thing or two from a St. Bernard.

I anticipate this winter being quite a bittersweet one.  And, so, I stood out in the snow, turned my face up to the falling snowflakes, and cried.

I love you my darling.

I miss you.

1 comment:

  1. I had to wait to read this one. I just read it today. A lovely tribute to such a great dog.